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Friends and colleages

Discussion in 'School, study & work' started by Miller1989, Oct 26, 2016.

  1. Miller1989

    Miller1989 Junior Server Admin

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    I came back to Austria about 6 years ago. The only reason I came back was to study and it was really hard to adapt to this kinda new place again.
    Since I left everything oversees, again, I just got fed up with finding new friends and just started being by myself most of the time. Had some problems in between as well.
    Now it is still very hard for me to make friends, not because people are not willing to be friends with me, but because I just don't feel that I can keep up friendships to just lose them afterwards again. It is also really hard for me to express what I feel and open up about to other people.
    This may seem strange because I chat a lot and love talking, but this is only over the internet. It is much easier for me that way then in person.

    The place where I study I met some people that I used to consider my friends, especially two of them which hooked up for some time now.
    Since they hooked up they have had nothing better to do than to talk shit about me constantly, especially when there's other people around.
    I stopped being friends with them for 2 weeks and then I just started hanging out with them again. This was 2 years ago and last week they disrespected me way too much for me to just forget about it.

    On Thursday I heard that we had orchestra practice the next day. The problem was that I had to work the next day. I said that I was going to try to find replacement so that I could go to the practice.
    Instead of accepting that I couldn't just say "screw you work" and go to the practice, they just told me that this is the moment of truth where I had to show my priorities. I told them that I can't just leave work because I wouldn't be able to pay my studies and that I have a lot of bills to pay each month. They just started bullying me about that, not only in front of another friend of mine but also in front of the director. That was the moment where they really got to me. Both of them apparently have no money issues because I see them going to concerts and going out to eat regularly. I can't afford any of these things.

    They also tell me that I know nothing about music. The thing they don't see it that I study classical guitar and I know more about guitar music then music of composers that didn't compose a single piece for guitar. Also I didn't grew up in a family with musical background and my interest for classical music didn't start that long ago.

    Their behavior towards me has only lowered my trust in people and even worse, my self esteem.

    I never speak about my problems to anyone. I feel that putting this out somewhere will help me endure this a little bit, just like speaking with a human about your problems would somehow.

    Sorry for the long read and the incoherent writing.
     
  2. Venom

    Venom Jozzeh's Kouhai Server Manager Server Helper VIP

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    Talk to me whenever you want! <3
     
  3. Miller1989

    Miller1989 Junior Server Admin

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    Thanks man. I'll keet that in mind <3
     
  4. Solid Snake

    Solid Snake Snake? Snake?! SNAAAAAAAAAAKE?!?!?!? Member

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    Think about what you have rather then what you don't. Making friends is one of the hardest things in life. Maybe visit an old friend of you or go back to your childhood friends. I have to say I find it really brave of you to post this one here and if you are in a tricky situation I'm always a guy to talk too. Btw you seem to fit very well in this community. You already got some ❤️ Send to you and people are always in shock if you aren't on discord for like I dunno 2 seconds? xD. I don't think you have any problems with making friends whatshowever. Seeing your positions in this community :). But ye that is easier said then done. Just be yourself and do what you like to do.
    ~Solid your friend
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2016
  5. Miller1989

    Miller1989 Junior Server Admin

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    I thought that I was going to have a bad day at work tonight but your words made me feel better. I do have a lot of things to be happy about, that is for sure. Unfortunately I let the bad things get way out of hand and stop them way to late from happening.
    When I get back I will make sure to hop on discord again.
    About lending me an ear, I hope I won't get on your nerves, there's 27 years of trouble coming up :)
    Thanks man <3
     
  6. Avaritia

    Avaritia Absolute Savagery Server Manager Creative Team Server Helper VIP

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    Got more experience in this matter than you might think. I moved twice over a distance of 400km. That cost me a huge portion of my friends both time and my girlfriend too. Its a shit time every time you move, or move back. The friends I thought I had were compleatly different than I had remembered them. It's only natural though. "Auseinanderwachsen" as you say in german. What I did was just hang in there and just roll with it. It'll work out somehow. "When you are at the bottom, up is the only way" As much as I hate that saying it's still true.
     
  7. Damiensdk

    Damiensdk Banned

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    Thanks for the blog post
     
  8. Dragoon™

    Dragoon™ Member

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    It's quite brave that you wrote this post. Don't let stupid fools break your mood or lower your self-esteem. You don't need them and in the end, you'll get further. Just ignore their swearing and bullying. We are here, FoG, to support you. We are your friends, you don't need anyone else.
     
  9. ElToredo (195cm)

    ElToredo (195cm) Senior Server Admin

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    The fact that it lowered your self esteem is bad, it's not like you have done something wrong to them or like you have something that made them angry at you so you shouldn't think that.

    Secondly, you should learn, as everybody, to not give a damn at shit people like this, just forget them and try to find and to stay with quite good people and you will enjoy this for sure :D
     
  10. Inov

    Inov VIP Member

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    You'll always have your music buddy. <3
     
  11. Oku!

    Oku! VIP Member

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    haha funny story lol
     
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  12. Miller1989

    Miller1989 Junior Server Admin

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    Thanks for the nice replies. I didn't think that this would help me but you guys lifted my mood a lot and I am proud to be part of this community with so many great people in it.

    I am sorry to hear that. I know I am mostly a cunt on discord and that we don't know each other that well. I even dare to say that we just know each other a tiny bit I guess, but if you ever wanna share some experiences just let me know. I am more than willing to talk about it. It may ever benefit both of us in a psychological way. <3
    I'll try to ignore them. As I said I will not be friends with them anymore. They stepped over the line way to many times and I have been nothing but respectful to them and they went too far this time. People in here are better then people irl anyways. Many loves <3
    I am usually a person that doesn't care too much about what other people think but since they were friends they really got to me because they know me and my economic situation, yet they still found it necessary to view it as no problem to make fun of it in a certain way. Thanks man <3
    Sorry for leaving for that long. You know I love listening to music with you. We have to recover all that time. <3 <3 <3
    I know that deep inside you are a friendly person you damn troll <3

    Note:
    Apparently I am too stupid to use the quoting system, sorry guys
     
  13. ElToredo (195cm)

    ElToredo (195cm) Senior Server Admin

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    Yep, sometimes, even if you can't really trust them firstly or in a long time, people on internet are better than people in real life. I met my gf on internet (not line Tinder or this shit websites) ;)